Where to begin... well, first let me just point out that the street where I received my speeding ticket (a whopping 42 mph in a 30 zone) has been granted a speed limit increase. Yes, the speed limit is now 35 mph, which means I can actually put my foot on the gas pedal for short stretches of the road. And I have seen nary a cop on the street since. But I also haven’t sped since. That little incident was all it took to make me realize that nothing short of life-or-death emergencies is worth breaking the speed limit over. You really don’t get anywhere faster, you burn more gas and more of your brakes, and you put yourself and others in danger. I know, I sound like a traffic school video from the 80s, but it’s true. And the bigger issue is: submitting to authority.
And don’t even get me started on those people with fish stickers on their cars who drive like there are no traffic rules (or blinkers) in existence. I try not to be judgmental, but that's my Jesus's name those people are dragging through the mud (or red lights, in this case).
And don’t even get me started on those people with fish stickers on their cars who drive like there are no traffic rules (or blinkers) in existence. I try not to be judgmental, but that's my Jesus's name those people are dragging through the mud (or red lights, in this case).
Well, suffice it to say, there have been no dramatic developments in the dating life of D. But that really hasn't been the point. It's rarely ever about that with God (I should know by now).
As soon as I opened myself up to the inspiration of my friend (the ambitious, passionate one), and took a few chances to put myself out there, God began to slowly reveal more lessons on balance, discernment, and hope.
Balance. So, the downside of ambitious young men is the fact that when you combine a man's singular focus with a career, mix in a little youthful pride and a dash of ego, you get a big helping of no-time-or-desire-for-a-relationship. Which basically negates most other attractive qualities, as far as us girls are concerned. We want to be pursued for who we are, not just be a listening ear for tales of the next big conquest. It's the classic case of "he's just not that into you." Because he's completely into himself! So, all that to say... it's been good for me to be attracted to ambition, but to also learn that it's just vanity if not tempered with humility, a servant’s heart, and a desire for balance. All the career success and money in the world is not worth much if your loved one is never around. I've seen it in my family, and now it's hit even closer to home.
Discernment. I love this gift from God. I've been praying for it for years, and God has never failed to come through. He seems to mix it in with my intuition, but it’s definitely a learned/bestowed gift. Every time I have an "inkling" about a situation or a person, it's usually turned out to be true. This is invaluable in dating situations, especially if you haven’t been friends with the guy before going out with him. I think God has truly used this gift to protect me from some scuzzballs. I’ll have a feeling about a guy, but I’ll try to believe the best about him, only to find out the feeling was right… and be thankful I didn’t waste any more time on him.
Balance. So, the downside of ambitious young men is the fact that when you combine a man's singular focus with a career, mix in a little youthful pride and a dash of ego, you get a big helping of no-time-or-desire-for-a-relationship. Which basically negates most other attractive qualities, as far as us girls are concerned. We want to be pursued for who we are, not just be a listening ear for tales of the next big conquest. It's the classic case of "he's just not that into you." Because he's completely into himself! So, all that to say... it's been good for me to be attracted to ambition, but to also learn that it's just vanity if not tempered with humility, a servant’s heart, and a desire for balance. All the career success and money in the world is not worth much if your loved one is never around. I've seen it in my family, and now it's hit even closer to home.
Discernment. I love this gift from God. I've been praying for it for years, and God has never failed to come through. He seems to mix it in with my intuition, but it’s definitely a learned/bestowed gift. Every time I have an "inkling" about a situation or a person, it's usually turned out to be true. This is invaluable in dating situations, especially if you haven’t been friends with the guy before going out with him. I think God has truly used this gift to protect me from some scuzzballs. I’ll have a feeling about a guy, but I’ll try to believe the best about him, only to find out the feeling was right… and be thankful I didn’t waste any more time on him.
But that brings me to the last point: Hope. It’s pretty hard to keep hoping when you realize the good guys are too busy for you and the scuzzy guys abound. It’s downright impossible to do in your own strength. I have so many wonderful single girlfriends who will be incredible wives, and we could spend a whole year bitching about the lack of good husband material out there and our sorry dating experiences. But those conversations rarely leave me hopeful and excited about the future. And I don’t think it’s God’s best for us to use our time that way. So what do we do?
We have to fight for hope. We have to put the same kind of crazy faith to work on this issue as we do all other odds we’re up against. And not in a naive, blind way, ignoring what is truly becoming a crisis in society—but in a way befitting our status as daughters of the King. We serve a God who raised Jesus from the dead and who has shown us great and mighty things in our own little lives. We can’t put Him in a box on this issue. We have to believe that even though His clay is pretty ugly, He will still make it beautiful in His time.
In doing this, we will find the attitudes of our hearts changed. Because the reality is, God is more concerned about the state of our hearts than our relationship status.
He will come through for us, and He does even now by teaching us balance, giving us discernment, and helping us hope. We can’t even see the battles He’s fighting on our behalf, but He is fighting and winning. All He asks of us is to believe and keep on hoping.
4 comments:
Amen and amen sista!
you stole the word out of my mouth, deb!!
D, you're amazing. this was SO right on!! A-freakin-MEN!
Hey D! I can tell you from experience, just keep becoming a better "you" and God will bring your mate in His time. He will even import them if necessary! My wife was born in IN, lived in VA, came of age in MS, worked jobs in GA, SC, and NY, but God brought her directly to my church in AL just about a year before we started dating. We were engaged in 6 months and married 4 months later; all with the blessing of our parents and our pastor.
Darcie,
You are not just going to be a wonderful wife someday, but you ARE a wonderful non-wife now! You continue to inspire me and encourage me and just cause me to think, "she's NEAT." Keep fighting for the hope, chica. And someday we should really hang out again.
ps - if nothing else, take comfort in the fact that Mrs. Lawlis likes you more than me (as evidenced by the fact that you made her blogroll and I didn't!). :)
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